Love, Health and Harmony: How to Maintain Happy, Healthy Family Relationships

Denis September 5, 2019

Few things in life are more important than your family. Yet few challenges in life seem as great as keeping your family together. However, you can experience close, healthy relationships with your family!

The foundation of a healthy family is a rock-solid child-parent relationship. It’s important to provide structure and discipline so your children learn vital skills that will serve them well later in life. It’s also important to provide an environment of safety and security that sends your children the message that they’re valuable people.

As a parent, you envision your children as successful and desire to put them in the best position possible to realize their fullest potential in life. With these important steps in the right direction, you can provide your children with the best opportunity possible to succeed while experiencing a deep, soul-nourishing connection with them at the same time.

Identify your child’s strengths. Every child has unique strengths and abilities. Every child differs in the way he or she thinks, works, and learns. If you find out what your child is good at and feed their confidence through encouragement, you’ll automatically gravitate toward success.

The best way to find out what your child is good at is to discover what interests them the most. What are they passionate about? What does he or she like spending time doing? Encourage them to use their gifts and abilities in that area. They’ll feel closer to you and more confident in their abilities.

2. Spend time together. Quality time together as a family on a regular basis can open doors of communication that you thought would be shut forever. Regularly make time to spend together doing fun things with no distractions. Choose one of these ideas, or come up with your own:

Help your children with their homework and school projects.
Eat meals together at the dinner table.
Allow your children to choose a fun weekend activity to do together.

3. Take a family vacation each year. Choose a destination that has something exciting for every member of your family. Seek input from your children and spouse and choose somewhere that everyone agrees on. Pick out a destination that is educational as well as fun.

4. Talk to your children about your childhood. Show your children that you understand the struggles that they go through. While some things are best kept private, letting your kids in on some of your experiences as a child can draw you closer together. Your kids may receive correction better if they realize that you truly understand their point of view.

Most of all, strive to communicate to your children that they are your priority. The most effective communication between you and your children is your actions.

What you do, speaks much louder than the words you say.

Choose actions that communicate your child’s worth as a person and your appreciation for his unique talents and abilities.

All it takes to create love, health, and harmony in your home is time, empathy and consideration. When your children know that they are your priority, that you understand their viewpoint and that you value them as people, they’ll trust you and you’ll experience a close relationship that will stand the test of time.

The Language of Love: Deepen your relationship with loving communication

Daily Checklist:

Trust

✓ Tell the whole truth.

✓ Follow through and do what you say you’ll do.

Effective Listening

✓ Give your partner your full attention.

✓ Use appropriate body language.

✓ Let your spouse finish.

✓ Repeat what they said in your own words.

✓ Ask questions.

Share Your Hopes and Dreams

✓ Discuss a goal you’d like to achieve in the future.

✓ Talk about ways you can accomplish it together.

When You Disagree

✓ Remind yourself of your love for each other.

✓ Refrain from name-calling.

✓ Focus on the current issue.

✓ Use effective listening skills.

✓ Share your feelings.

✓ Apologize when necessary.

✓ Find a win-win solution.

Show Your Love

✓ Show gratitude.

✓ Do something nice for your partner.

✓ Turn a mundane task into something fun.

✓ Surprise them.

✓ Look your best; feel your best.

✓ Take time for yourself, too.

✓ Pray together.

Laugh Together

✓ Share a laugh.

✓ Talk about something funny.

✓ Do something fun and outrageous together.

Make Time for Each Other

✓ Make it a point to spend quality time together.

✓ Try new activities.

✓ Plan a fantastic vacation together.

✓ Add to your special trip fund, even if it’s only a small amount.

7 Actions That Strengthen the Emotional Bonds of Your Relationship

You can make your relationships emotionally deeper and stronger with simple actions. Should you want your relationships to last, then it’s crucial to invest time and effort into them.

Give these strategies a go…

Spend the entire day with the person.

One of the easiest ways to build an emotionally stronger relationship and create memories is to spend an entire day with your loved one.

Your day can start with going out for breakfast and activities that you both enjoy. On the other hand, you can simply hang out at home together and relax. The most important point is to spend time together and enjoy it.

2. Create a special memory.

Do you both love art or scrapbooking? Do you enjoy traveling to explore and experience new locations? A special memory can involve creating an object or an event together.

Deeper relationships are created by sharing experiences with each other.

You can create a painting together, put together a photo album, or paint the kitchen. You can also travel together and build new memories.

3. Share your secrets.

Vulnerability in a relationship can make it stronger and healthier.

Trust is an essential part of a healthy relationship, so it’s important to feel comfortable sharing your secrets. You should be able to have confidence that the other person will keep the secret and not share it with anyone else.

4. Share your future plans.

Share your ideas about the future and the goals you want to achieve. Listen to your partner’s goals for the future too. Together, you can support each other on the path to success and fulfillment.

5. Share your favorite books and articles.

One of the easiest ways to create a stronger relationship is to share your favorite books and articles. This allows the other person to learn more about your interests and get a deeper understanding of you.

Your favorite books and articles can reveal more than just your interests. They can be mirrors into your soul and reveal your thoughts, expectations, and beliefs.

You should feel comfortable sharing your reading material. Avoid worrying about judgment or arguments that could appear after your loved one reads these items.

6. Discuss your past.

Have you opened up about your past? Conversations about the past can help you bond by sharing details of your history. The other person can learn more about you and your personality.

You may want to share the stories that are hidden from others and discuss past mistakes or other issues.

7. Use technology to stay in touch.

If you can’t see each other on a daily basis, use technology to communicate as often as possible. Your phones, tablets, and other devices can help you stay connected.

Ongoing communication is a key part of emotionally strong relationships.

You can use the traditional phone calls to stay in touch or turn to Skype, video chats, texts, emails, or social media.
Choose the devices and methods that work best for both of you.

Relationships can wither and stagnate if you don’t take action to keep them fresh, alive, and exciting. Make the effort to strengthen your emotional bonds. Your rewards will be well worth it.

How do you maintain a good family relationship?

Building Strong Family Relationships

Our family teaches us how to function in the world. It should provide love and warmth to all of its members. A strong family gives its members the support they need to make it through life’s toughest spots.

Strong families have good communication.

Strong families have open lines of communication where all family members feel heard and respected. One of the best ways to strengthen your family is to increase your listening skills and those of other family members. Until we can hear each other, we cannot build strong relationships.

To build strong family relationships, listen actively to each other.

Give the person your full attention, turn off the TV or put down what you are doing.
Focus on what the person is telling you rather than thinking about your reaction or response to what is being said.
Listen for how the other person is feeling and relay back what you think they were saying and how they are feeling.
Resist giving advice or your reaction until you are certain you have fully understood what the person was saying to you.

Use “I” messages rather than “You” messages when talking.

I messages are more difficult because they require us to be clear about our own thoughts and feelings. They, however, increase the chances that our message will be heard and decrease the chances that a fight will begin.
“I don’t like all this fighting. It upsets me to see the two of you not getting along.” Rather than, “What’s wrong with the two of you? You’ are making me crazy! Can’t you ever get along?”
Teach everyone in your family to talk with “I” messages as much as possible. “I am feeling upset when I see you playing video games before you finish your homework”.
“You” messages should be discouraged because they often lead to bad feelings and increased fighting. “You” messages seldom resolve the problem.

Encourage all family members to share their thoughts and feelings.

Strong families allow all family members, no matter how young or small, to talk about their thoughts and feelings. This does not mean that members are not respectful of one another, rather that feelings and ideas are respected.
Everyone should be expected to express themselves in appropriate ways such as with “I” messages. When people feel heard and respected, they feel better about themselves, are more open to solving problems, and are more likely to allow others to express themselves.

Strong families spend time together.

In today’s busy world it can be difficult for families to find time to be together. All relationships need attention, and this includes the family as a whole.
Family rituals can offer a set time for families to get together and give each other the attention needed. A family ritual is simply a time that is set aside on a regular basis for a family to get together. This can mean having dinner together, celebrating a holiday together, going to church together, or going for a walk together. It is important that the family ritual be predictable and that other activities are not allowed to upset it.
Family rituals help define who we are as a family. It allows time for the family to get together, to share experiences with one another, and to reconnect with each other. Knowing that the family will have time together can help us deal with those times when we are apart. Even though parents may work, children can know that each evening, each weekend (or whenever works for your family) they will have some “special time” with you.

Every child is special and every child needs some special time when he or she can have their parent all to themselves.

Giving your child some “special time” helps develop a close relationship with your child. Make it a predictable ritual, so your child can depend on it and look forward to this time with you. Be sure that this “special time” is not easily interrupted by other activities. For example, don’t answer the phone during this time.
Allow your child to help you decide how to spend this time. You could read books, sing songs, go for a walk, play a game or whatever your child enjoys. The more you are able to spend special time with your child the stronger your relationship will be.

Look for opportunities to connect with your child.

Although setting aside time with your child is important, also look for small moments that you can use to connect with your child. Researchers say that spending frequent, brief amounts of time (as little as 1-2 minutes) involved in child-preferred activities is one of the most powerful things parents can do. You can make up stories together while doing chores. Talk about concerns while on the way to the grocery store or read a book together while waiting for dinner to finish. We often think we have to wait for our “special time” but all these small moments help us stay connected in between the more scheduled times.

Strong families handle their conflict fairly.

All families have conflict. It’s a natural part of human relationships. Strong families are able to work through things they disagree about by focusing on the problems, rather than by “tearing each other down.”

Keys to Fair Fighting

Stay focused on the behaviour or problem. Use “I” messages to express your thoughts and feelings about the problem. For example, if you and your child are arguing about bedtime, you could say “I get angry when you continue to argue with me even after I’ve told you my decision. I want you to go to bed now.” instead of “You never listen to me. Go to bed now or I’ll spank you.”
Stay focused on the present problem. Do not bring up old issues and problems. These only distract from the present issue. You can discuss them later.
Respect each other’s right to safety. Fights should never become violent. When people are so angry that they feel like hitting one another or throwing things, call for a time out. Agree to get together to talk again after everyone has had a chance to calm down.
Use your problem solving skills to create new solutions to the problem and teach your kids to think of ways to resolve conflict. It is not useful to fight about what isn’t working. Instead, focus on what has worked in the past or what could work now.
For bedtime problems, you could say, “I am tired of always arguing with you about your bedtime. Let’s come up with some new ways that you can get to bed without all this hassle.” Then you and your child could think of some solutions and decide which one to try out. The more you include your child, the better problem solver he or she will be, and the more likely to follow through with the plan.

Strong Families Develop Trust.

Strong, healthy families recognize the importance of developing trust. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.

Some ways to develop trust in your family are:

Give your child opportunities to earn your trust. Let them do small tasks around the house and praise them for doing it on their own.
Show your child that you can be trusted. Children need to know that they can count on what their parents say. Follow through with the things you promise to do.
Allow people in your family to make amends. We all make mistakes. Teach your child to forgive and allow yourself to forgive others. Holding on to past hurts often only hurts us.
Teach everyone how to say “I’m sorry.” Taking responsibility for our good and our bad behaviours is important and helps to develop trust. People learn to trust that they can be loved even though they are not perfect.